This blog is written by Becca Wellan. Nanny for two littles. Caffeine addict. Child of God.

Things that stress me out: Bees, balloons, and house hunting.

The past few weeks, I’ve been singing The Renters Blues to myself as I scroll through Craigslist every five minutes. But hey, who’s counting? Apparently the availability rate in Bellingham is 1% right now. Pour me a glass of that sweet tea, wouldya honey? I made it with the lemons life gave me.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Just a little. But hey, finding a new place, ideally with some walls and a roof, is pretty high on my “adulting” list now that I bought a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

Since I moved out of my parents to go to Western, I’ve searched for a place to live each year. A place of rest and refuge; where I feel safe. A place filled up with laughter, shared tears, and welcoming arms. A place I can feel at home.

As I’ve wrestled through some emotionally rough patches these past few months, I’ve come to realize that my search for home goes much deeper than just finding some walls, a roof, and a lease sign.

Since I could breathe, my soul has been aching for home. It’s at the core of who I am. It’s how I’m wired. The grace I’ve found in these last few months is that I’ve been forced to re-think where I’m trying to find it.

If you are human (if you can read this, I’m 98% certain you are), you naturally long to feel safe. You desire to be fully known, flaws and all, yet be fully accepted. To be comforted, and deeply loved. To have stability and consistency. When you find this, you find home. That’s how God wired you.

Since I could breathe, my soul has been aching for this kind of home. And, I always find it in relationships. This is not always a bad thing. Community and deep friendships are some of the most beautiful gifts God gives us. God’s people, though sinful, are His presence in a broken world. I fully believe that.

But here’s the catch:

People aren’t always there for you when you need them. People make stupid decisions that break your heart. People will forget about you, they will back out on their plans with you. They will hurt you, even with the best intentions. And, there is always the gut-wrenching chance they will leave you.  

The problem is that I find myself banking on other people to come through for me, every time I need them. I need their comforting words, their reassurance, their presence, to feel okay again.

So where do you find home? Who do you depend on to always make you feel safe, to love you completely, to never fail you?

God wired us to long to be loved perfectly, to be deeply connected to a constant anchor when the storms come. But, other people have storms, too.

So why did God wire us this way?

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.” // Psalm 27:4-5

We are wired to seek after God’s presence, as long as we live. He is our constant anchor; no one else - no matter how great they are - can be that for us. We are wired to long for His company, to run into His arms when the our storms come. To know Him, and be known by Him.

We truly find home when our desire for home is met in Christ Jesus. It’s what we were designed for. Only through believing in Him can we be fully known yet fully accepted. Only in Him can we find true comfort. Only through believing in Him, and living each day resting in His constant, unbreakable friendship, can you come home.

Each day, may our heartcry be, “Lord, may I find my home in you all the days of my life.”

I still don’t have a place to live in the fall. I’ve been making phone calls and looking at property management websites even as I’ve been writing this. But I can put my laptop away and rest, knowing that my greatest need for home has already been met.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” // Matthew 11:28

This post is by Ashley Bowie, Jesus lover, coffee mistress, wordsmith, in Christ.

I have always known that I wanted to be a writer. I remember constructing stories for my barbies from earliest memory. I remember doing my chores and having to redo them because I had been day dreaming when I was supposed to be dusting. I wrote my oscar acceptance speech for best original screenplay when I was about 12. I was supposed to win that around age 25. I was supposed to be a well established writer with a vacation home by now. While I'm at it I was supposed to have a husband and children by now also. I was supposed to win a thousand souls to the Lord, and I was supposed to fall asleep at night feeling satisfied that I was living the life I was supposed to.

It's an interesting thought isn't it? "Supposed to." It means, this was my expectation and it's not what I'm seeing. It means this is what was expected of me and I have not measured up. I think we have all been there. You feel like you're not doing enough or enough of the right things. You have an image in your head or heart of what you wanted to be, or you want to define yourself a certain way and you get frustrated because it’s not looking like you thought it would or coming as easily as you expected.

We all battle this in different ways. I was supposed to get that promotion, I was supposed to forgive that person, I was supposed to have succeeded, I was supposed to provide for all my family's needs, I was supposed to stop worrying, I was supposed to grow faster in this area. It means, in so many words, I've failed. And to be fair, we do fail, regularly and spectacularly. But the problem with "supposed to" is that it revolves primarily around our own expectations.

Last weekend I attended the Bible and breakfast event for the women of Redeemer. Our speaker Danielle Dow spoke directly out of Ephesians 1 and something she said hit home so much more clearly than it ever has before. She said, "your identity is in Christ." Earth shattering revelation there right? Maybe I'm a little slow because I think most of us only hear that about 10 times a week. Danielle agreed that it was not new information but went on pressing that our entire identity is in Christ.

It does not mean that your identity is hidden somewhere in Christ and that if you dig around long enough you can find the title you were meant for. As though you're putting on a name tag that says "disciple maker," or "mother," or "christian business executive." If you get a title it's this "In Christ." It's stamped on your soul, written on your heart and grafted into the fibers of your brain. If God is "I am" then I am "in Christ." This is my name, my dwelling place, my purpose and my life's ambition all rolled into one.

It's not like your home, where you sleep and eat and then go out into the world to do the things God has given us to do. It's more than clothes that we put on to show the world who we are and who we want to be known as. It's more than a job title with responsibilities, more than a relationship that we delight in. Being "in Christ" is your very skin. It's your heart and your heart's rhythm. It's neurons and fingerprints. In Christ is every piece of your identity.

I have shortened the passage that we walked through, but if you have time you should read the whole thing.

Ephesians 1:3-14
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us IN CHRIST with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us IN HIM before the foundation of the world, … according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. IN HIM we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, … making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth IN CHRIST as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things IN HIM, things in heaven and things on earth. IN HIM we have obtained an inheritance… so that we who were the first to hope IN CHRIST might be to the praise of his glory. IN HIM you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed IN HIM were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance…”

Look at the rich depth of description of all the things you are. If your name and all that you are made of is "in Christ" you are blessed, you are chosen, you are adopted, you are redeemed, you are a worshiper, you have an inheritance, You are sealed with the Holy Spirit. How much grander is this than a job title or a list of accomplishments? How much more satisfying is this knowledge than chasing down dreams of earthly glory?

When I recognize that my identity is "in Christ" pouring coffee for eight hours a day becomes worship and blessing, my life and work becomes disciple making work simply because I "In Christ" am doing it. Struggling through scriptures in search of understanding, or working through forgiving others becomes the holiness he is working out in me. There is no greater level to be reached by getting a promotion, no better version of myself to be found by adding a relationship. Sure these things are tools of God used for sanctification, but they don't redeem me any more, they don't increase my inheritance, they have no impact on my adoption, and they are not worthy of my worship.

This means that the only thing that I am "supposed to be" is IN CHRIST. There are commands in scripture to remain in Him to abide in Him, to listen to his voice and carry out his will. This does require action on our part and certainly we get it wrong from time to time. But it is your name to worship Him, it is your blood to be blessed in Him. So when you start feeling weighed down by all the things you thought your life would be or look like by now just remember that who you are is IN CHRIST, and as you remain and abide, he is guiding you to exactly what you are supposed to be.

Hello, I am in Christ and my name is Ashley

Current blog post written by Becca Wellan. A devoted and caring friend who loves coffee and talking about Jesus. Oh, and did I mention she loves coffee?

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved.” - Psalm 55:2. 

It’s a Sunday morning, and a friend of mine asks me how I’m doing. I’m tempted to smile, say “I’m good!” and walk away. But, the word “good” tastes bitter on my lips, and I swallow it, along with all the other words I can’t say. With sincerity and compassion, he tells me I can give him an honest answer.

“Honestly...” I look out the window as though the grey sky is listening, too, as her sobs fall in droplets down the stained glass. I start sobbing, too. 

“I feel terrible.” 

He could have turned away. He could have awkwardly muttered “I’m sorry,” and turned to someone more cheerful, a conversation more comfortable. Instead, he prayed for me. Another friend prayed with us. Then he offered to help me with my practical needs so that I could get through the day. 

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you.” 

Promises like this have always been mildly abstract to me. Jesus will sustain me? How? I always pictured a wave of superhuman strength taking over my emotions, crashing through every last drop of weakness. 

But this never happened. 

Encourage
Verb | en·cour·age | To inspire with courage or hope

In a moment when I felt like my heart was being crushed by calloused hands, and I stood completely helpless, I grew courageous, by degrees, when my brothers and sisters in Christ stood with me. Amidst my great fears, I felt hope. They didn’t try to fix my situation; they didn’t talk too much. They didn’t use Jesus band-aids and Christian cliches (ex. Jesus loves you, you’ll be okay). 

But, they held me together. They listened, they prayed, they reminded me of the goodness of God. They reminded me of His power to restore lost souls and heal broken hearts. 

That day, in a hundred ways, my brothers and sisters were a source of incredible strength to me. Strength I could never have found on my own. Strength found only in speaking, hearing and believing the truths of Jesus. 

Through the Christ-like compassion of God’s people, God Himself sustained me another day.

At the heart of the gospel lies the glorious reality of friendship. Through His sacrificial death on the cross in the place of hopeless people, Jesus, a friend of sinners, brought us into a deep, immovable friendship with the creator of the galaxies (Mark 2:13-17). 

We shattered our friendship with sin. He sacrificed Himself to bring us back. 

And because He is with us now, the church is called to be God’s active, hope-filled, light-giving presence in the world. Because we are restored to friendship with Him, we are called to “bear one another's burdens” (Galatians 6:2), to “encourage one another” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) and to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). 

He does not promise to miraculously heal us or change our circumstances though we wait for Him to come in waves of superhuman strength. Rather, He often shows us His grace and boundless love through other believers. God’s people are God’s presence in a broken world. 

FREE Ice cream!
That is a great way to start any conversation. If you need help moving, you start off by offering free ice cream before you ask for favors. If you want people to come to your charity event, you promise them free ice cream before you say anything else. If you want someone to read a blog about self-discipline, you promise them free ice cream at the end.

Self-discipline is not one of the darlings when it comes to character traits. In a culture that grows steadily younger as we age, self-discipline feels like drudgery. Most of us can maintain some level of discipline in one or two areas for a small measure of time. "I'm dieting for 21 days, and then I get a break"No TV for a month and then binge fest 2016." When you're discussing your weekend with co-workers, no one says "I was really self-disciplined, I didn't overspend or over drink, or Netflix and yoga pants for eleven straight hours."

We like to talk about compassion, and kindness and grace and peace. We share with one another the things we accomplished for the Kingdom, the dreams and longings of things we want to do, projects we want to be a part of, and the moments we could feel the presence of the Father. We like to talk about ice cream. 

Self-discipline is like broccoli.

Genesis chapter 5 is an account of the generations from Adam to Noah. It follows a simple pattern; "When Seth had lived 105 years he fathered a son, after that son he lived 807 years and had other sons and daughters and then he died. All the days of Seth were 912 years." That’s a paraphrase, but it follows the same pattern for ten generations, except for one. 
Genesis 5:21-24 "When Enoch had lived 65 years, he fathered Methuselah. Enoch walked with God after he fathered Methuselah 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Thus, all the days of Enoch were 365 years. Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him." 

What is the difference between just "living and dying" and "walking with God?" I think I know. Broccoli. I'm sure you have seen the evidence in your own heart, so this won't come as a shock to anyone. We have a tendency just to do whatever is easiest. Maintaining a close relationship with God is not the easy thing to do. 

Every day we are bombarded with messages that tell us we are the most important thing, our desire is what is most important, and our immediate happiness is the key factor in every decision. This is slavery. To chase after desire that culminates in itself, only to have to chase something bigger and brighter next time. You think you're chasing down happiness or fulfillment, you think you're headed for your ice cream, but all you end up with is a stone cold block of ice. 

I think even we believers fall for this scheme sometimes. We want the songs that make us feel good, the sermons that inspire us to chase our dreams, and little chats that start and end with "I'm fine thanks, how are you?" But the life of the believer is frequently compared to farming. Our life is hands in the dirt, sweat on your brow, and broccoli on your plate kind of life. 

I’m not always great at it, but I’ve learned a few ways to prep and eat broccoli over the years that are quite delicious.

1. Study with fellow believers. No matter what’s going on it helps to know we are not alone.

2. Set an alarm reminder to pray. Even if it’s only for a few minutes, at first, set your alarm to a time of day you know you usually have a few minutes of free thinking and dedicate that time to pray. 

3. Set your bible on top of your phone at night. Seriously, if it’s the first thing you touch in the morning, maybe it will help you remember to crack it open and dig in.  

Self-discipline can sometimes feel like legalism. And it can be easy to talk yourself out of practical steps if you look at it that way. The funny thing is, though, the more you study, the more you pray and engage in Christian community, the more you want to. What a gracious gift to us! It’s like discovering that you really do like to exercise or eat healthy food. Even if you only give it a few minutes a day, at first, God will still hear and still help. 

We know that God saved us through Jesus. He saved us from a life of fruitless chasing after desires of the flesh to a new life bursting with the fruit of the spirit. 
Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law."

Our tree needs to be tended to with prayer and meditation and diligent study. Galatians 5:25 "If we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit." Being prone to take the easy way and to wander away from our savior, it makes sense that by His Spirit we are called to keep in step with the Spirit. Keep walking, keep digging, keep pruning and keep at it. 

The truth is, God sees our wicked hearts, sees how we are making a mess of things just trying to get what we want, He rescues us from the mess and puts true joy in our hearts. He pulls us out of the wreckage and replaces the shadow with substance, the plastic toys for the real deal. There's your ice cream; you just have to eat your broccoli too.

-This weeks post is by Ashley Bowie, a member at Redeemer. She pours an excellent cup of coffee, and loves words the way some people love their pets, or children.

Brace yourselves for a strong statement.

And be prepared to just accept it, because we're not gonna fight about it.

...

Baseball is the most beautiful sport ever to be invented, period!

Now, I know some of you out there think baseball is one of the most boring sports ever. I have heard some people even say that they would rather watch paint dry than watch a baseball game.

But even if you are in that spot, hang with me. Because just like baseball or any sport, skill or pursuit for that matter, becoming a better disciple of Jesus takes a lot of determination, persistence, and practice.

Dreaming Big

When I was a kid I remember watching and listening to baseball with great curiosity. I used to daydream about being in the big leagues, pitching in the World Series, putting my team on my shoulders and leading them to victory.

I wanted to pitch professionally; that was my dream. But as with all dreams there comes a great reality that we all have to face: a dream is really just a precursor to an awful lot of work. For musicians, athletes, professionals, students, whomever, you have to practice to be able to accomplish a dream you might have. 

Now for those who know me, you are probably aware that I didn't make it as a professional baseball player. I've got awful eyesight, my reflexes are terrible, and I'm always looking up to others, literally. There was really no amount of practice that was going to overcome some of these physical limitations.

Once I considered this, I knew my dream was dead. But when I became a Christian years later, I realized baseball gave me such a wonderful understanding to what Christian discipleship should look like.

Baseball Discipleship

Yes, to the untrained eye baseball seems to be to simple. Boiled down to the simplest form, there is a ball that someone needs to hit and run around the bases to try and score before the defense tags you. But there is much more that goes into baseball than meets the eye. 

There's a specific way to hit the ball based on where you want it to go.

To develop arm strength needed to throw that runner out at third, you have to throw a lot, since most people aren't born with that kind of strength.

You have to train focus, hand eye coordination, speed, decision making.

You can't do these things without constant practice. And you can't just practice when you feel like it. And you don't know what to practice if you don't know what skills to build or maintain. And you don't know what you need to work on without feedback.

Christian Discipleship

Being a Christian is a lot like training to be a baseball player.

Except that we got drafted by no merit of our own. we did nothing to earn it.

We don't know home from second base. Our arms are weak, our eyesight is poor, and our decision-making needs some work, because we've been making those decisions toward a different goal than the one we were made for.

When Jesus died and rose to save you, and the Holy Spirit called you and changed your heart and mind and affections, and you got drafted, weak arm, bad eyesight, and poor decisions all.

So now, your job as a Christian, drafted to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:18ff), is to train and develop the skills necessary to effectively lead people to Jesus.

This is why we do things like pray, knowing that we have not the strength on our own to accomplish the purpose set before us.

Or read our bibles, knowing that in them we can read about the love and wrath and mercy of God for people who did not and do not love God apart from Christ, ready to give an answer for the hope that we have in Christ.

Or participate in Christian community, serving alongside family, who can point out where we're strong or weak, and can encourage us in our walk with Jesus.

Getting In The Game

Whether or not you're training to make disciples, you already are, by your thoughts, your words, your actions.

It sounds kind of daunting. We may not even know where to start. We're afraid of the damage we'll do to others in our failing, or we're scared of starting in the wrong place, or just paralyzed by indecision, concerned about going in the wrong direction.

It's in these moments that we need to remember the conditions under which we were drafted to begin with.

Christ performed perfectly, died sacrificially, and rose victoriously.

By His grace we are saved. That's it.

So we can start trying, training, running, falling, getting back up and starting again.

We can set our alarm an hour early only with the intention of reading and praying and meditating only to unconsciously hit snooze for 45 minutes.

We can show up to hang out with a Gospel Community, in which we know no one, and feel really awkward the whole time and leave and say "well, that wasn't a good fit, let's try another next week."

We can take a step toward leadership, only to be confronted with the reality that we can't manage details worth beans. (How many beans? I don't know. I wasn't counting.)

Whatever it is, remember the team you're on and how you were drafted.

And don't be afraid to fail, because where we fail, Jesus has won.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ESV)

Yup, if you are a parent or a primary care-giver, you have been called by God to teacher your kids about Him everyday, every moment, in everything you do. That seems daunting, right? Over the next few blogs, I hope to break down the above verse into small, manageable parts so that the idea of discipling kids isn’t so overwhelming with the hope that as we intentionally disciple our kids, it will become second nature - something that we do as we sit and walk and lie down and rise and text and drive to soccer practice and grocery shop and play video games…

So here are three ways to start being that primary discipler:

1.  Talk to your kids daily about God.

Pick one time during the day when you will consistently - or as consistently as possible with crazy schedules - talk to your kids about God. This could be at breakfast or dinner or before bed. Just pick one and make it a routine.

One way that family devotionals have been consistent for us as a family is that we do them as we finish our meal…notice I said “as we finish” our meal. The reason we do our devotionals as we finish is to help bridge that age gap span between our 4 kids who are 7-12. They are all in different places emotionally, physically and spiritually so everyone is still “present” during each conversation if they are eating and sitting still even if the conversation takes a more mature turn for our 10 year old son. And to be honest, it also helps me - mom - not be rushing to move on to clean up dishes and get ready for bed, which I was always tempted to do when we did devotionals at the end of the meal.

2.  Decide what you are going to say.

For most of us this seems easy in theory but in reality it is really daunting. Questions like what book in the Bible should I read to my kids first or what devotional should I use or do I need to explain the Trinity first or how do I explain reformed theology to my 4 year-old can make the task seem overwhelming. My advice - just start somewhere.

Over the course of parenting for the last 12 years, my family has started and stopped numerous family devotionals. We have read through proverbs, then the Jesus Storybook Bible, and made it through the first quarter of The Long Story Short probably 3 times. We have used the family devotionals provided by Redeemer Kids, The New City Catechism and even done season devotionals. And we start each with good intentions but sometimes they don’t work for the stage of life our kids are in (we have four spanning from 7-12) or for our schedule.

This might sound like we aren’t very “devoted” to devotionals but the reason I shared that is to say it is simply important to make it a priority, even if the devotional you pick doesn’t work long term. If you make it a regular rhythm in your home, then your kids will begin to expect it to happen and they will grow as disciples in their love of God and the Gospel!

3.  Pray for your kids and pray with your kids.

God is sovereign over His relationship with your kids and with you and you get to be the agent that the Holy Spirit uses to teach your kid about Him. How amazing is that! So spend time in prayer asking God to give you the words to speak to your kids and then model this prayer with your kids so that they grow up praying as well.

And help your kids learn to pray corporately by attending Redeemer’s dinner and prayer night. This will not only help you grow in your prayer life by seeing how the Holy Spirit is prompting others to pray, but it will help kids see that this is an amazing thing - not something weird that only your family does at dinner or at bedtime. Your whole family will get to experience being part of the family of Redeemer and petitioning God together.

I pray that as all of us seek to be the primary disciple makers in our homes that we would experience the amazing power of the Gospel more completely and we would fall more in love with our Savior so that we can pass on these affections to our kids.