This week's post was written by Theresa Adams who is constantly trying to convince herself that tea is just as good as coffee.

In the last few years we have had to sit down with our two boys, multiple times, to share with them that people near and dear were no longer going to be married. We've also experienced a lock-down at my son's elementary school. We've known people who have passed away and others who have battled life threatening illnesses. And this is just what our little family of four has encountered. The world at large is full of broken marriages, hurting people, dangers and uncertainty. As a mama who has two little ones, which means my heart lives outside of my body, there can be much to cause fear. Much to cause anxiety. Much that could overwhelm us.

It would be great if they made life-sized bubbles for our kiddos so that we could shield them from all of the brokenness and messiness they will encounter here on earth. But since that isn't an option what are we to do? How to shield them and let them experience it all so that when they go out into the world, as an adult. they will know how to comfort those in the brokenness rather than add to it? How to insulate them from all the negative? How to do so without your own fear being a burden upon their childhood? How to teach them that being courageous is sometimes more important than being safe? How to prepare them for life so they won't come running back to us and live in our basements? Unfortunately they will not encounter another way until they are rejoicing in heaven. Only then will their tears finally be wiped away. Then there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. Until that time there are all of the above and more.

This whole living in fear thing is new to me. Growing up and in my young adult life I was mildly void of fear. Spontaneity beckoned me and I typically answered without much thought or concern of what could or couldn't happen. I hitchhiked and went on solo trips across country all without a cellphone (least you think that was on account of bravery let me just be honest and say it was because they hadn't been invented yet.) I threw myself off of cliffs into the water below just for the thrill of it. Now, since becoming a mother, I get nervous and clammy driving over high bridges or when my kids get too close to the edge of a ledge overlooking the water below. Even though said ledge towers above them and there is literally no foreseeable way they could fall in. Still clammy. Still sometimes hold onto the hood of my youngest least a sea creature from down below were to leap up and decide he'd make a tasty treat. Okay, maybe not that last one so much but you can see how easily it is to be dwarfed by the umbrella of "what-if's." And these are just for the run-of-the-mill fears. Not the life threatening "what-ifs" about contracting a life-threatening disease or coming into a life-threatening situation simply when going throughout your day It, again, really does make the kid-in-a-bubble thing sound not so bad.

It's all too much. There is too much to fear and there is too much that could go wrong. But if we let fear win then we are going to miss out on too much joy. Too much love. Too much spontaneity and too much good. Life is hard enough as it is that we don't need to be saddled down by any additional weight of worry or anxiety or distress. What is a mama to do other than to spend time on her knees and trust the One who gave her those that cause her heart to live outside of her body. What can we do but believe and trust Him when he says:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

We can also remember we have a choice to live each day one day at a time. Not looking too far ahead but rather just soaking up the moment and the gift that it is. Maybe it's just me, but I don't want fear to get an inch more than it deserves. It has it's place and it is a good emotion to have when, say, you run into a grizzly bear. But day in and day out I want my emotions to know that I'm in charge and I want to model that for my children.

Fear often is nothing more than an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous. In most cases it isn't even an actuality it's just a possibility. These ones we are raising up are going to need all the braveness they can muster.  They who take their cues from us. They look to us before they have a reaction. They cry harder if we gasp when they fall. They look more triumphant after seeing our smile. They need to know that we think they've got this. They also need to know that we've got this and that in the times when we don't that we  have someone to turn to who will never falter. Never leave. Never change. They need to know that we will keep trusting in the One who holds us all in the palm of His hands. They need to know that we will keep crying out on our knees for the courage and peace and love only He can provide to keep the fear it it's place.

"Steps unseen before me,

Hidden dangers near;

Nearer still my Savior,

Whispering, "Be of cheer"

Joys, like birds of springtime,

To my heart have flown,

Singing all so sweetly,

                                                                               "He will not leave me alone"

 

Blog post written by Kati Berreth, faithful mom to four kids, loving wife to Rob, and one heck of a Redeemer Kids Coordinator.

From a dad who recently attended one of Redeemer’s Family Dedication classes:

“I would love wisdom on what it practically looks to engage in mission with little kiddos. My wife and I have often heard the encouragement to be on mission at your kids' t-ball games or in their extracurriculars, but what does it look like for a family with really little kids to engage in mission in a regular, repeatable, low-bar (we're just so tired already! :-) ) sort of way. 

I absolutely love this question for three reasons. The first is that this young family is seeking to engage those in Whatcom County so that Everyone, Everywhere, Every-day can experience the Gospel, even though they have young kids and are tired. The second is that this question came from a Dad, who is trying to lead his family to love Jesus, love the local church, and love his neighbors, even though he has young kids and is tired. And the third is that he was honest…being on mission is hard and tiring and takes effort and so they need hints on how to do this in a sustainable sort of way that also allows for them to have rest and to enjoy these three young kids!

So let me take these three great categories (regular, repeatable, low-bar) and give some ways to engage in mission with young kids.

1)    Regular

This word can be used synonymously with every day. I brush my teeth regularly or every day - even a few times a day. And that is how we have to think of mission with our kids. We have to make mission “normal” and something we often do or all the time. So start by having regular conversations and prayer times with your kids for those in your spheres of influence who do not yet believe in their need of the Gospel. This might be those in a playgroup or preschool group with you or family members or physical neighbors. These prayer times will help align your heart and the hearts of your kids with the will of God through the power of the Holy Spirit, so you are ready to share the Gospel when you are given the opportunity. 

Then invite these folks into your home or on a playdate at the park or out for ice cream or even just pursue conversations across the fence if they are your neighbors and invite your kids into these conversations or at the very least, pray with intentionality as a family before you see them. We often try to “cast vision” for our kids to help them feel a part of our mission - whether it be when Rob is traveling to help coach potential church planters, or if we have invited specific people over for dinner just so they know the spiritual importance of the meal and can help us create a hospitable home.  

2)    Repeatable

When Rob and I were first married, we began attending meetings for a new church plant in Boston. The Pastor used these Sunday night meetings to train us in being missional. Although he shared many stories with us, the one that I have always remembered is him talking about going to the same barber every couple of weeks to get his hair cut. He said that he chose the shop intentionally and would go to the same person because he was cultivating a relationship with the barber with the hope that he would be able to share the Gospel with her. 

This advice is good…and easy. I noticed when my kids were young and still able to sit in a grocery cart that I could pick the same person to check out with each week. And the great thing about kids is there is always something to talk about and people tend to remember kids. So whenever possible, I would pick the line with this one specific worker because we could always talk about our kids - she would remember mine - and we got to know each other a bit. And even when her line was super busy, I made a point to at least say “Hi” as we walked by with our cart full of groceries. 

Now that my kids are older, I try and share with them why I have certain conversations with folks, again at the grocery store. As I buy a lot of craft supplies for Redeemer Kids, people often ask what they are for. When I respond that the supplies are for a craft at church and the person checking me out stops talking to me, I know that this is not the right time to pursue that conversation, and I share this with my older kids so they know how to be sensitive to the Spirit working in people's lives as they share their faith with those in their school. I also share it with them so they can see that it is not scary to talk about church or Jesus or their faith even with strangers. Again, this goes back to having regular conversations with our kids so they can be a part of the mission.

3)    Low-bar

We talk with people outside of our homes every day, and we repeatedly go to places in our City. So if you have shared with your kids how you are intentional with your conversations, you have prayed with your kids for specific people and cultivated relationships with those people, and you have prayed with them for opportunities to share the Gospel regularly, then a low-bar approach for being missional with your kids is simply starting conversations with people, as I mentioned before and see if the Holy Spirit is moving in their hearts for more questions to be asked. 

For example, we were having a conversation with one of our kids about one of his friends who he found out is a Christian. It was awesome that he knew that information as he felt bold enough to ask if his friend went to church, but when I asked where his friend attended, he said he didn't know and didn’t know how he might find out. I said, “Ask your friend what he did for Easter. And if he says ‘I went to church’ then ask ‘where?’” 

And these are the same low-bar conversations we need to be having in front of our kids, so they know how to have them. Next time you are with your hope-to-be-Christians-soon friends or neighbors, ask what they did on Saturday and Sunday. And if they ask the question in return, then share how you attended a service on Sunday and what it was about. Or if you are at a playgroup, and one of the moms is looking for some “mom-time” on Saturday, invite her to the next women’s breakfast or even out for a walk and just get to know her and her story. 

4)    Be intentional

I know this wasn’t one of the words mentioned above and I have used it over and over again throughout this post, but I don’t think I can stress this phrase enough. When our family has given itself to mission with intentionality, we have seen our lives and the lives of those around us changed by the power of the Holy Spirit, and it has been fun and effortless. 

When God brought a family to live in Bellingham for just one year and we felt called to get to know them and spend time with them, not only did we make life long friends, but a thirst for the Gospel became evident and questions about who Jesus was and what He accomplished on the cross just seemed to spill out of the mom. Our kids played sports together; we regularly had them to dinner, we invited them repeatedly to our holiday celebrations since they didn’t have family in town, and I joined her gym with the kids so we could spend time weekly together. We even went on a family vacation with their family right before they moved away from Bellingham. The times of playdates soon turned into a Bible study/playdate and our last holiday together, Easter, the mom, was baptized in front of our whole church. Even as I write this story now, years later, it still makes me cry with joy and amazement that we got to be even a part of this redemption story!

I pray that as you seek to lead your young kids in mission that you too would get to experience the power of the Gospel through the work of the Holy Spirit in your lives and those you minister too.

The Following Blog Post is By Kati Berreth, Redeemer Kids Director

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ESV)

I have used the above verses for the past two blog posts because these verses affirm that we are in fact the primary disciplers in our homes and that because of this we are called to disciple our kids daily, regularly, all the time. Yet, these verses are taken out of a larger chunk of scripture that is necessary for us to look at if we are to figure out what we are to actually say to our kids when we disciple them.

                  “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.  (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV)

There is one God

So how do these verses help us know what to say to our kids? Look at the beginning of verse 4 - “The LORD our God, the LORD is one.”  One of the most important things we can tell our kids is that there is only one God. If your two-year- old can hold up 1 finger, then teach him or her to say “1 God” and repeat that over and over again. It can be just that easy.

Love the Lord

The next part of verse 4 is also crucial in helping us know that we should say to our kids but it is more about our relationship first then about what we should say. We need to love the LORD (our) God with all (our) heart(s) and with all (our) soul(s) and with all (our) might. The more we spend time in His word and in prayer with Him, the more we will want to share what we are learning with our kids.

Today, as I was prepping the curriculum for Sunday in Redeemer Kids, I was overwhelmed by reading about how Jacob literally “held on to God” as he waited to hear back from his brother Esau whom he had tricked and stolen their father’s blessing from 20 years prior. Think back to the last time you were anxiously awaiting news or wrestling with God during the night. Did you cling on to Him and His promises that He has spoken to you in His word and through your prayers? Spending time in the story of Jacob today gave me a new perspective and a new understand of what my relationship could be and should be like with God. I am to love the Lord with everything in me and I get to share this new insight tonight during our devotional time.

But what if you aren’t there yet? What if you don’t love the Lord currently? This is where the story of Jacob can speak to that as well. He clung on to God because the safety of his life and his family’s life was in the hand of the brother he had treated so horribly. All Jacob could do during this time was cling on to the knowledge that God had promised to bless his family beyond anything he could imagine - and we get to cling on to God’s promises as well. 

John 3:16 tells us that “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” God loves us! He loves us so much that He sent His own son as the sacrifice for our sins so that we too could receive His blessing, if we believe, like Jacob. So we can rejoice that even our sin of not loving Him enough or rightly has been forgiven because of Jesus’ perfect life, death, burial, and resurrection - defeating Satan, sin, and death. 

Know the Lord

And the last section of the scripture passage then goes into this idea because we can’t love God unless we know Him, but these verses “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” are telling us specifically how important it is to know God’s commandments. These verses tell us to put them everywhere so that we never forget them. And although we could take these as literally as the Israelites did by wearing head bands with boxes on them containing the scriptures or special bracelets or even bring this idea into our current trend of getting tattoos, I would simply encourage you to know the words of God and His commandments by spending time in the Bible. Read it daily, meditate on it, memorize it, read it to your kids, listen to sermons about it, read commentaries about it. By knowing Him and spending time with Him, your love for Him will grow and that affection will pour out of you and into your kids.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ESV)

Last post (Part 1) gave 3 steps to start being the primary discipler:

1.     Talk to your kids daily about God

2.     Decide what you are going to say.

3.     Pray for your kids and pray with you kids

And this post I want to focus on the first step “Talk to your kids daily about God” by sharing how this works out in my home and by giving some book titles that I believe are must haves in every Christian home with kids (and without:))!

A conversation with my kids after school….

After school yesterday, I was in the kitchen getting snack ready for my kids while they were prepping their lunches for school the next day. My son, Judson, said to me, “Mom, can I have a peanut-free sandwich tomorrow so I can sit with my friend because he is allergic to peanuts?” I said sure and kept prepping their snack. He then proceeded to have a conversation with his sister about his friend, who I guess used to argue in kindergarten with my niece.

I entered back into the conversation when I hear my daughter say, “That is funny that they used to fight.” My heart sank and in that moment I had two choices. I could either say to her “That isn’t very nice to say” or I could remember that I am one of the primary disciplers in our home and use this as a teaching moment. I decided on the later.

I said to my daughter, “Do you remember the bible story you learned the other week in Redeemer Kids where two people were arguing? What did God say about that?”

She looked at me and said “No” right away. But my two sons both immediately started to squirm and started to tell her the answer. I quickly asked them to stop so that she could answer. Well, to make a long story short, after half an hour of her looking through a children’s bible looking for the answer with no luck because most children’s story bibles don’t include the story of Cain killing his brother, I asked one of her brothers to tell her the story of Cain and Able.

He told her the story in complete detail and we then got to have a conversation about what happens in our hearts when we are angry and how unrighteous anger against someone is a sin and not something that is funny. And although this conversation was much longer and more time consuming then just telling her that what she said wasn’t very nice, it was pretty important for all of us.

My daughter got to learn more deeply about anger, my son was able to teach her about the Bible and practice some leadership skills, and I was given a quick assessment into my kids’ knowledge and retention of what they have been learning and what they know and don’t know in terms of their biblical literacy. And all of this came from simply “talk(ing) of them when you sit in your house” after school while we were prepping and eating snack.

These kinds of spontaneous spiritual conversations are super important and we all need to have them all the time as Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs but they also need to happen daily at specific and planned times - just like instructing your kids to brush their teeth. Below are some resources I believe will help you to do this during your family devotionals. I know there are tons of other resources that can do these things, but here are a few books that I believe should be in every Christian home and I will break them out by age appropriateness just in terms of what I have seen work for attention spans.

2-5’s:

Everything a Child Should Know About God by Kenneth Taylor and Jenny Brake

From Marty Machowski, author of The Gospel Story Bible, “Everything a Child Should Know About God” is a pre-school dynamite! Kenneth Taylor explains our incomprehensible God in ways even a four-year-old can understand. Get a copy for your family and introduce your young children to our amazing God and the life transforming, powerful, message of the gospel.”

We are currently using this for our family devotional and it has sparked great conversations with all our kids age 7-12.

The Big Picture Story Bible by David Helm

From Trevin K. Wax, Managing Editor, The Gospel Project, “When serving as a pastor, I frequently purchased and gave this Bible to families with young children in hopes that the parents would read and absorb its message. Here’s a Bible storybook that shows the biblical story from Creation to New Testament - a book that anticipates Jesus in the Old Testament and makes his crucifixion and resurrection the proper climax of the New Testament. My wife and I love it. Our kids love it. I cannot recommend it highly enough.”

3 and up:

The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sallie Lloyd-Jones

From Tim Keller, Senior Pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City “I would urge not just families with young children to get this book, but every Christian - from pew warmers, to ministry leaders, seminarians and even theologians! Sally Lloyd-Jones has captured the heart of what is means to find Christ in all the scriptures, and has made clear even to little children that all God’s revelation has been about Jesus from the beginning - a truth not all that commonly recognized even among the very learned.”

Our family uses this bible so much we are on our second copy. The first was getting worn out so we ripped it apart and use it for our advent devotional with the pictures hanging on the wall in our living room each Christmas season. It is an invaluable book to have in your home and to give to friends!

6 and up:

The Gospel Story Bible by Marty Machowski

From Timothy Paul Jones, Ph.D. Associate Professor of Family Ministry, Southern Seminary; editor of The Journal of Family Ministry “I could speak at length about how much I recommend Marty Machowski s books to churches and indeed I do, along with books from a long list of other authors. But Marty s resources for families and children also appear on a far shorter list that places them in a more significant category for me: they are books that I actually use in my home. Again Marty has provided us with a God-centered, Scripture-grounded, gospel-driven resource that orients the minds of children toward the wondrous works of God.”

I hope that theses books bless your families as they have blessed ours!

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ESV)

Yup, if you are a parent or a primary care-giver, you have been called by God to teacher your kids about Him everyday, every moment, in everything you do. That seems daunting, right? Over the next few blogs, I hope to break down the above verse into small, manageable parts so that the idea of discipling kids isn’t so overwhelming with the hope that as we intentionally disciple our kids, it will become second nature - something that we do as we sit and walk and lie down and rise and text and drive to soccer practice and grocery shop and play video games…

So here are three ways to start being that primary discipler:

1.  Talk to your kids daily about God.

Pick one time during the day when you will consistently - or as consistently as possible with crazy schedules - talk to your kids about God. This could be at breakfast or dinner or before bed. Just pick one and make it a routine.

One way that family devotionals have been consistent for us as a family is that we do them as we finish our meal…notice I said “as we finish” our meal. The reason we do our devotionals as we finish is to help bridge that age gap span between our 4 kids who are 7-12. They are all in different places emotionally, physically and spiritually so everyone is still “present” during each conversation if they are eating and sitting still even if the conversation takes a more mature turn for our 10 year old son. And to be honest, it also helps me - mom - not be rushing to move on to clean up dishes and get ready for bed, which I was always tempted to do when we did devotionals at the end of the meal.

2.  Decide what you are going to say.

For most of us this seems easy in theory but in reality it is really daunting. Questions like what book in the Bible should I read to my kids first or what devotional should I use or do I need to explain the Trinity first or how do I explain reformed theology to my 4 year-old can make the task seem overwhelming. My advice - just start somewhere.

Over the course of parenting for the last 12 years, my family has started and stopped numerous family devotionals. We have read through proverbs, then the Jesus Storybook Bible, and made it through the first quarter of The Long Story Short probably 3 times. We have used the family devotionals provided by Redeemer Kids, The New City Catechism and even done season devotionals. And we start each with good intentions but sometimes they don’t work for the stage of life our kids are in (we have four spanning from 7-12) or for our schedule.

This might sound like we aren’t very “devoted” to devotionals but the reason I shared that is to say it is simply important to make it a priority, even if the devotional you pick doesn’t work long term. If you make it a regular rhythm in your home, then your kids will begin to expect it to happen and they will grow as disciples in their love of God and the Gospel!

3.  Pray for your kids and pray with your kids.

God is sovereign over His relationship with your kids and with you and you get to be the agent that the Holy Spirit uses to teach your kid about Him. How amazing is that! So spend time in prayer asking God to give you the words to speak to your kids and then model this prayer with your kids so that they grow up praying as well.

And help your kids learn to pray corporately by attending Redeemer’s dinner and prayer night. This will not only help you grow in your prayer life by seeing how the Holy Spirit is prompting others to pray, but it will help kids see that this is an amazing thing - not something weird that only your family does at dinner or at bedtime. Your whole family will get to experience being part of the family of Redeemer and petitioning God together.

I pray that as all of us seek to be the primary disciple makers in our homes that we would experience the amazing power of the Gospel more completely and we would fall more in love with our Savior so that we can pass on these affections to our kids.