Ah, the holidays are here! Not that you needed the reminder. But Christmas is coming!

Good food, good laughs, gifts given and received. And hobbits.

Yes, hobbits. Hobbits and Christmas are very similar. 

If you've read or seen The Lord of The Rings, you know what a hobbit is. They were a people that lived in the north of Middle Earth that caused so little ruckus that most of Middle Earth's inhabitants didn't even know they existed. Seldom growing taller than three feet in our measure, they wore bright colors, lived peacefully, and knew how to party. Here's how Tolkien described them:

Their faces were as a rule good-natured rather than beautiful, broad, bright-eyed, red-cheeked, with mouths apt to laughter, and to eating and drinking. And laugh they did, and eat, and drink, often and heartily, being fond of simple jests at all times, and of six meals a day (when they could get them). They were hospitable, and delighted in parties, and in presents, which they gave away freely and eagerly accepted.

Such a people sound amazing. Of course, there are a few exceptions (if you make it through the series, you'll meet a few of them). But based on that description, I'd love to be a hobbit. Or at least have their attitude.

I (Dane) once heard a friend of mine say, "live like a hobbit" referring to the Christmas season. When I heard that statement, it made my head spin with different questions. How can someone live like a hobbit? What does "living like a hobbit" have to do with Christmas? Then I realized, Christmas is all about bright colors, friends, family, great food, good drink, a love of laughter, and celebrations. And as I thought about that, I realized that hobbits love these things as well. That is amazing. But wait, if that is true how can I "live like a hobbit" this Christmas season?

Before we go any further, we just want to acknowledge that Christmas can be very painful and lonely. And we’re sorry. In no way are we trying to make you feel bad for lack of excitement or happiness, nor are we suggesting that you fake it.

Because Jesus didn’t. When Lazarus died, He wept. When it came time to go to the cross, He agonized over what He knew He had to endure. And yet, Philippians 2 says “for the joy set before him,” He endured the cross, and ultimately rose to victory, taking His seat at the Father’s right hand.

Whatever makes this season painful is a blip on the screen of life. Pain is okay. But don’t let it stifle the happiness and joy that can be found in Jesus.

All that said, here’s some ways to live like a hobbit in the midst of the holidays.

Bringing Joy To Others

In order to bring joy to others, you have to know what brings them joy.

Hobbits are all the same. They all like a good party.

Humans are not all the same. But most of them like a good party. With good food. Sure, we all disagree on what “good” is. But the desire is there.

Through the holidays (and life, really), do your best to create a welcoming and hospitable environment in whatever you do.

Bringing Joy To Yourself

Experiencing joy yourself can be so linked to others’ joy. At least it is for me (Brandon). Often the absolute last thing I want to do is go to a party. But if other people are having a good time, I generally am too.

I’ve personally found that when I try to feel happy, I'm never happy. I wonder if I'm doing some thing wrong, or if I've done something wrong, and how my actions and words are interpreted and whether people like me and... 

*sigh*

And I wonder why I never get "there."

On the flip side, I've found that when I focus on others and their happiness, I’m a lot less crabby, and I’m happier myself.

 Ultimately Bringing Joy To Christ

We celebrate Christmas because of Jesus. When we make Him a big deal, we make Him happy.

Ultimately, it’s reflecting on Him and what He’s done that will produce the most lasting joy, because He has filled our greatest need. We can never throw a good enough party or give enough gifts to get the joy that is ultimately offered in Christ.

How To Live Like A Hobbit During Christmas

Two years ago, after Redeemer's Christmas Eve Service, my wife and I invited a few people over to our house for an extravagant feast. We decided to buy great meat, get gifts for these people, bring out our special drink and be marry together.

Deep down in my sinful heart I didn't want to share my good food and drink because I wanted it all to myself. Fortunately, when I saw the joy and peace that was on the faces of these people because of the wonderful gifts, well that was the greatest gift one could give me. 

So how do you live like a Hobbit during Christmas?

Enjoy the season that is upon us. Throw a lavish party with great food and drink. Laugh often, learn to relax and for goodness sakes do not take yourself too seriously. Christmas is a season of great joy. Not because we get presents, not because we have good food and drink in our system. No, the only reason you can live like a Hobbit on Christmas is because the season is about the coming of the great Messiah. King Jesus has come, conquered, and is consummating a redeemed creation to Himself. 

So this season, enjoy the beautiful gifts that this time brings upon us. Have joy, often laugh, throw a party and enjoy this beautiful season.

This week's post co-written by deacons Dane and Brandon.

The Following Blog Post is By Kati Berreth, Redeemer Kids Director

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ESV)

I have used the above verses for the past two blog posts because these verses affirm that we are in fact the primary disciplers in our homes and that because of this we are called to disciple our kids daily, regularly, all the time. Yet, these verses are taken out of a larger chunk of scripture that is necessary for us to look at if we are to figure out what we are to actually say to our kids when we disciple them.

                  “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.  (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV)

There is one God

So how do these verses help us know what to say to our kids? Look at the beginning of verse 4 - “The LORD our God, the LORD is one.”  One of the most important things we can tell our kids is that there is only one God. If your two-year- old can hold up 1 finger, then teach him or her to say “1 God” and repeat that over and over again. It can be just that easy.

Love the Lord

The next part of verse 4 is also crucial in helping us know that we should say to our kids but it is more about our relationship first then about what we should say. We need to love the LORD (our) God with all (our) heart(s) and with all (our) soul(s) and with all (our) might. The more we spend time in His word and in prayer with Him, the more we will want to share what we are learning with our kids.

Today, as I was prepping the curriculum for Sunday in Redeemer Kids, I was overwhelmed by reading about how Jacob literally “held on to God” as he waited to hear back from his brother Esau whom he had tricked and stolen their father’s blessing from 20 years prior. Think back to the last time you were anxiously awaiting news or wrestling with God during the night. Did you cling on to Him and His promises that He has spoken to you in His word and through your prayers? Spending time in the story of Jacob today gave me a new perspective and a new understand of what my relationship could be and should be like with God. I am to love the Lord with everything in me and I get to share this new insight tonight during our devotional time.

But what if you aren’t there yet? What if you don’t love the Lord currently? This is where the story of Jacob can speak to that as well. He clung on to God because the safety of his life and his family’s life was in the hand of the brother he had treated so horribly. All Jacob could do during this time was cling on to the knowledge that God had promised to bless his family beyond anything he could imagine - and we get to cling on to God’s promises as well. 

John 3:16 tells us that “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” God loves us! He loves us so much that He sent His own son as the sacrifice for our sins so that we too could receive His blessing, if we believe, like Jacob. So we can rejoice that even our sin of not loving Him enough or rightly has been forgiven because of Jesus’ perfect life, death, burial, and resurrection - defeating Satan, sin, and death. 

Know the Lord

And the last section of the scripture passage then goes into this idea because we can’t love God unless we know Him, but these verses “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” are telling us specifically how important it is to know God’s commandments. These verses tell us to put them everywhere so that we never forget them. And although we could take these as literally as the Israelites did by wearing head bands with boxes on them containing the scriptures or special bracelets or even bring this idea into our current trend of getting tattoos, I would simply encourage you to know the words of God and His commandments by spending time in the Bible. Read it daily, meditate on it, memorize it, read it to your kids, listen to sermons about it, read commentaries about it. By knowing Him and spending time with Him, your love for Him will grow and that affection will pour out of you and into your kids.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ESV)

Last post (Part 1) gave 3 steps to start being the primary discipler:

1.     Talk to your kids daily about God

2.     Decide what you are going to say.

3.     Pray for your kids and pray with you kids

And this post I want to focus on the first step “Talk to your kids daily about God” by sharing how this works out in my home and by giving some book titles that I believe are must haves in every Christian home with kids (and without:))!

A conversation with my kids after school….

After school yesterday, I was in the kitchen getting snack ready for my kids while they were prepping their lunches for school the next day. My son, Judson, said to me, “Mom, can I have a peanut-free sandwich tomorrow so I can sit with my friend because he is allergic to peanuts?” I said sure and kept prepping their snack. He then proceeded to have a conversation with his sister about his friend, who I guess used to argue in kindergarten with my niece.

I entered back into the conversation when I hear my daughter say, “That is funny that they used to fight.” My heart sank and in that moment I had two choices. I could either say to her “That isn’t very nice to say” or I could remember that I am one of the primary disciplers in our home and use this as a teaching moment. I decided on the later.

I said to my daughter, “Do you remember the bible story you learned the other week in Redeemer Kids where two people were arguing? What did God say about that?”

She looked at me and said “No” right away. But my two sons both immediately started to squirm and started to tell her the answer. I quickly asked them to stop so that she could answer. Well, to make a long story short, after half an hour of her looking through a children’s bible looking for the answer with no luck because most children’s story bibles don’t include the story of Cain killing his brother, I asked one of her brothers to tell her the story of Cain and Able.

He told her the story in complete detail and we then got to have a conversation about what happens in our hearts when we are angry and how unrighteous anger against someone is a sin and not something that is funny. And although this conversation was much longer and more time consuming then just telling her that what she said wasn’t very nice, it was pretty important for all of us.

My daughter got to learn more deeply about anger, my son was able to teach her about the Bible and practice some leadership skills, and I was given a quick assessment into my kids’ knowledge and retention of what they have been learning and what they know and don’t know in terms of their biblical literacy. And all of this came from simply “talk(ing) of them when you sit in your house” after school while we were prepping and eating snack.

These kinds of spontaneous spiritual conversations are super important and we all need to have them all the time as Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs but they also need to happen daily at specific and planned times - just like instructing your kids to brush their teeth. Below are some resources I believe will help you to do this during your family devotionals. I know there are tons of other resources that can do these things, but here are a few books that I believe should be in every Christian home and I will break them out by age appropriateness just in terms of what I have seen work for attention spans.

2-5’s:

Everything a Child Should Know About God by Kenneth Taylor and Jenny Brake

From Marty Machowski, author of The Gospel Story Bible, “Everything a Child Should Know About God” is a pre-school dynamite! Kenneth Taylor explains our incomprehensible God in ways even a four-year-old can understand. Get a copy for your family and introduce your young children to our amazing God and the life transforming, powerful, message of the gospel.”

We are currently using this for our family devotional and it has sparked great conversations with all our kids age 7-12.

The Big Picture Story Bible by David Helm

From Trevin K. Wax, Managing Editor, The Gospel Project, “When serving as a pastor, I frequently purchased and gave this Bible to families with young children in hopes that the parents would read and absorb its message. Here’s a Bible storybook that shows the biblical story from Creation to New Testament - a book that anticipates Jesus in the Old Testament and makes his crucifixion and resurrection the proper climax of the New Testament. My wife and I love it. Our kids love it. I cannot recommend it highly enough.”

3 and up:

The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sallie Lloyd-Jones

From Tim Keller, Senior Pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City “I would urge not just families with young children to get this book, but every Christian - from pew warmers, to ministry leaders, seminarians and even theologians! Sally Lloyd-Jones has captured the heart of what is means to find Christ in all the scriptures, and has made clear even to little children that all God’s revelation has been about Jesus from the beginning - a truth not all that commonly recognized even among the very learned.”

Our family uses this bible so much we are on our second copy. The first was getting worn out so we ripped it apart and use it for our advent devotional with the pictures hanging on the wall in our living room each Christmas season. It is an invaluable book to have in your home and to give to friends!

6 and up:

The Gospel Story Bible by Marty Machowski

From Timothy Paul Jones, Ph.D. Associate Professor of Family Ministry, Southern Seminary; editor of The Journal of Family Ministry “I could speak at length about how much I recommend Marty Machowski s books to churches and indeed I do, along with books from a long list of other authors. But Marty s resources for families and children also appear on a far shorter list that places them in a more significant category for me: they are books that I actually use in my home. Again Marty has provided us with a God-centered, Scripture-grounded, gospel-driven resource that orients the minds of children toward the wondrous works of God.”

I hope that theses books bless your families as they have blessed ours!

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ESV)

Yup, if you are a parent or a primary care-giver, you have been called by God to teacher your kids about Him everyday, every moment, in everything you do. That seems daunting, right? Over the next few blogs, I hope to break down the above verse into small, manageable parts so that the idea of discipling kids isn’t so overwhelming with the hope that as we intentionally disciple our kids, it will become second nature - something that we do as we sit and walk and lie down and rise and text and drive to soccer practice and grocery shop and play video games…

So here are three ways to start being that primary discipler:

1.  Talk to your kids daily about God.

Pick one time during the day when you will consistently - or as consistently as possible with crazy schedules - talk to your kids about God. This could be at breakfast or dinner or before bed. Just pick one and make it a routine.

One way that family devotionals have been consistent for us as a family is that we do them as we finish our meal…notice I said “as we finish” our meal. The reason we do our devotionals as we finish is to help bridge that age gap span between our 4 kids who are 7-12. They are all in different places emotionally, physically and spiritually so everyone is still “present” during each conversation if they are eating and sitting still even if the conversation takes a more mature turn for our 10 year old son. And to be honest, it also helps me - mom - not be rushing to move on to clean up dishes and get ready for bed, which I was always tempted to do when we did devotionals at the end of the meal.

2.  Decide what you are going to say.

For most of us this seems easy in theory but in reality it is really daunting. Questions like what book in the Bible should I read to my kids first or what devotional should I use or do I need to explain the Trinity first or how do I explain reformed theology to my 4 year-old can make the task seem overwhelming. My advice - just start somewhere.

Over the course of parenting for the last 12 years, my family has started and stopped numerous family devotionals. We have read through proverbs, then the Jesus Storybook Bible, and made it through the first quarter of The Long Story Short probably 3 times. We have used the family devotionals provided by Redeemer Kids, The New City Catechism and even done season devotionals. And we start each with good intentions but sometimes they don’t work for the stage of life our kids are in (we have four spanning from 7-12) or for our schedule.

This might sound like we aren’t very “devoted” to devotionals but the reason I shared that is to say it is simply important to make it a priority, even if the devotional you pick doesn’t work long term. If you make it a regular rhythm in your home, then your kids will begin to expect it to happen and they will grow as disciples in their love of God and the Gospel!

3.  Pray for your kids and pray with your kids.

God is sovereign over His relationship with your kids and with you and you get to be the agent that the Holy Spirit uses to teach your kid about Him. How amazing is that! So spend time in prayer asking God to give you the words to speak to your kids and then model this prayer with your kids so that they grow up praying as well.

And help your kids learn to pray corporately by attending Redeemer’s dinner and prayer night. This will not only help you grow in your prayer life by seeing how the Holy Spirit is prompting others to pray, but it will help kids see that this is an amazing thing - not something weird that only your family does at dinner or at bedtime. Your whole family will get to experience being part of the family of Redeemer and petitioning God together.

I pray that as all of us seek to be the primary disciple makers in our homes that we would experience the amazing power of the Gospel more completely and we would fall more in love with our Savior so that we can pass on these affections to our kids.

It was Saturday, July 21st, 2001 and it was game 97 into the MLB baseball season. The Seattle Mariners were on a torrid pace to crush the single season wins record for any Major League Baseball team of all time. At this point the Mariners record was 70 wins and 27 loses. For the non-baseball fans, this record at this time of year was never heard of.

Through a contest I had won, I was asked to throw the first pitch out at the game that day in front of 47,000+ screaming fans who were all there for a purpose to be a part of something special. I threw the first pitch as hard as a could to make sure I made it to home plate.

Everyone screamed and yelled as the ball reached the catcher at home plate. Everyone was so juiced up for the upcoming start of the game that they would have still screamed even if I botched the pitch (which I didn't). Personally as a sports fan, even though I wasn't on the Mariners actual team, when they won I felt like I won. I shared a great commonality with the entire city of Seattle and that was experiencing their team becoming the single season record holders in Major League Baseball. I could say that day, I felt like I was a part of a family. A family of the Seattle Mariners. 

Why do you suppose we all long to be identified into a family? No matter who I talk to, no matter what background or different type of family history they have, without fail everyone wants to identify with a group of people that they can call family. People want to share in something special and feel special. Why is that? 

I Am A Part Of That!

We all have friends who describe how loving their parents were to them. We also have friends who have had some of the most atrocious things happen within there immediate families. And yet the commonality is that both of these people you talk to long to identify with a family of people to find purpose, love, community, acceptance, etc. As we look out into our culture we see many of these social "family" categories that we all identify with. For example, democrats, republicans, sports fans, beer drinkers, religious, etc. Everyone identifies or longs to identify with a group or "family" of people to gain stability, structure, acceptance and/or love.  People want to feel something. They want to feel special even if it is just for a moment to forget about there personal problems in their lives. Everyone wants to be a part of something. 

About 11 years ago I had such a significant moment in my life that would alter my view on the significance of the term "Family" and I would never be the same since. What I experienced that day, changed everything for me. God made me believe the Gospel and I became a Christian. And in that moment, I was told, well now you are in God's family because of what Jesus has done.

Really? The Creator of the cosmos wanted me in His family! Why would He want me? I am a terrible family member. Before this I had so many different presuppositions on what it meant to be in a "Family". I had personal experiences from being a part of my immediate family, being a part of sports teams, to friendships. I experienced great times within these groups and also hard times. But when God opened my eyes to the realities of His family and that I was a part of that, He started a journey that would teach me what being in a "Family" truly meant. 

Family Biblically

Through this journey, I found out that being a part of God's family was the greatest thing I could ever be a part of. We don't choose this "Family", it was through what Jesus Christ accomplished upon the cross that God chose us to be a part of His family. Even though we don't choose our immediate family, we have a choice like all the rest of this world to choose who we want to be a part of or associate with. Being called into God's family is not the case. He sovereignly chose you, if you are in Christ, to be a part of His family apart from anything you have done. 

He changed our hearts. He allowed us to finally see the truth about Him. For those who are in Christ you are a child of God who belongs not just to God but to to the entire universal church (all believers for all times). Together we are God's sons and daughters, predestined for adoption, heirs to God and fellow heirs with Christ. I started to grab hold of these biblical concepts and it completely changed my entire few of what it meant to be in a "Family". 

As Christians, we share all these things with each other because Jesus gave Himself and because He gave us our new identity. Our identity is no longer in the movements or earthly families we identify with but we identify in the Creator's family. As Christians, we live on this earth as exiles, waiting until we are home with God. We are excitedly anticipating and yet waiting to be with Him in the perfect city that He is building for us so that we might spend eternity with Him.

What Do I Do Until Then?

This means practically, as Christians we do life together with other members of the body of Christ. If you looked at a family that never spent time with one another, you would say that is a pretty dysfunctional family. This also means we meet together often, to be known by one another. We embrace accountability, responsibility and commitment all the while we are growing in what it truly means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. 

God has called Christians into His family and while we wait to be with Him forever, He is still with us. He isn't just preparing a place for His family to gather together with Him one day but he is preparing that family for that place he is preparing. This is why we enter into the "Family", the church, to grow together as we learn together. 

We all feel a part of something, but is what you are a part of eternal? 

(By Celeste Chute)

Editors' note: Below is part four of a four part blog series on one person's thoughts and journey about gender and gender roles.

I’ve written three posts about why I love complementarianism and I just want to finish with why I think this matters. We’ve all had or seen dysfunctional relationships in our lives, and they are hard, painful, and wounded parts of our past. I want to encourage you that God made relationships for our good, and through His Word, I believe He gave us the tools to help us navigate them. It seems obvious to say it, but the Bible is written very intentionally. There is a reason that we don’t see exact examples of how marriages play out in the Bible. We don’t see many instructions as to how exactly what responsibilities husbands and wives are supposed to have. And while I do think God’s vision for marriage includes men and women having different roles, I don’t think he wants us to put prescriptive boundaries around what that should look like. A complementarian relationship doesn’t always mean the wife stays home and doesn’t work. It doesn’t mean that husbands never cook or clean. It doesn’t mean that wives are quiet and meek and coy. But it also can mean all of those things. And both of those marriages and families can be equally beautiful and equally honoring to God. Complementarianism is a beautiful dance, a give and take, and a balance of two people made for each other.

And by some sweet grace of God, He gives us a shot at reflecting the Trinity with our marriages.

It’s not my job (or your job) to look around and point at marriages and say what they should or shouldn’t be doing. But I will openly and proudly look into my Bible and share what I’ve found. I’ve found that the Trinity is a beautiful, confusing, mind-boggling mystery. In the Trinity, we find one God existing as three persons. We see the Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit - all unique and yet together making up one God. They complement each other. They complete each other. They honor each other. Jesus submits to the Father’s authority. They are, together, the most wonderful thing we know. They are God, united, equal and differing. And by some sweet grace of God, He gives us a shot at reflecting the Trinity with our marriages. We get to become two in one. We get to honor and complete each other. We get to be distinct and united. And just like I know I’ll never fully grasp the Trinity, I know I’ll never fully ‘get’ marriage. My marriage will never be quite as beautiful as God intended. Until Jesus returns, I’ll never be the wife God dreamed of when He made Eve. My selfishness will inhibit me from truly becoming two in one. But that’s okay. God’s grace is enough. We are saved by grace alone. And I am so excited that I get to reflect God’s beautiful design in my marriage.

I believe marriage is one of the hardest and most significant things I will ever do, and I’m so thankful that God has given me a sense of how it can look.

I know that God’s plan is for my good, so when I look at the Bible and see how God describes marriage; that’s what I’m going to strive for. Even when it’s hard and messy and I don’t feel like it. I believe marriage is one of the hardest and most significant things I will ever do, and I’m so thankful that God has given me a sense of how it can look. It’s so helpful having a baseline idea of the wife I want to be. Then, even on days when things don’t feel quite right, I have somewhere to turn and a wonderful, loving, merciful God to rely on. I encourage us all to look deeply at how God’s Word is able to speak into our marriages. I encourage us to live our marriages out loud, to talk and share and struggle and learn with each other. Besides His Son, I believe God’s biggest gift to us is our relationships; whether that be marriages, friendships and families. Let’s take full advantage of those and embrace God’s good and holy plan for our lives.

We’re saved by grace even when we don’t agree on this issue...

I would hope that all of us, wherever we fall on the issue of complementarianism or egalitarianism, would let God’s voice be the loudest. Not society’s or culture’s, not our own, not our parent’s or sister’s or neighbor’s, but God’s true and honest Word. I pray that we will remember that we are saved by grace alone. We’re saved by grace even when we don’t agree on this issue. We are saved when we are selfish wives and husbands. We are saved when we are confused and hurt and struggling. We should feel freedom to pursue this with an open heart because it has God’s love behind it.

Thanks for reading!

Part 1 - Love First, Disagree Second

Part 2 - How Being Different Made Me Feel Whole

Part 3 - One Way A Complementarian Relationship Can Look