Do you like reading? I have noticed that people either love it or hate it. There usually isn't an in-between when it comes to reading. I hate reading. Now, to those that know me would hear that statement and say that I am a liar. If you know me, I usually have two books going at a time, and I usually end up finishing between 20-25 books in a year. So to the untrained eye you would think that I love reading because that is all I do. 

However, that is far from the truth. I am learning to enjoy reading the more I do it, but it is not as enjoyable to me as some people would think. 

The reason I find reading hard is because of a few reasons. One is that I cannot keep my eyes open, reading puts me to sleep faster than a brewery popping up in Bellingham. Two, my mind has a hard time concentrating and seems to move in many different directions. So a lot of the time, I have to re-read a page because I was thinking of something else and have no idea what I just read and that gets annoying. And thirdly, I am lazy by nature, period. I don't want to spend time reading. So, you are probably wondering why do you bring this up? 

I bring this up to share that I have hated reading in the past, but there are certain purposes to why I read often. My hope is that these three objectives will give you a desire to read more and often. 

1. Grow

I don't know about you, but I have never been satisfied with where I am at in life. It could be sports, schooling, parenting, whatever but I have this insatiable desire to grow. I was never this way growing up, though. I hated spending time on something to get better at it. If I weren't good at it in the first place, I wouldn't even want to try. As I grew up though I realized that by reading more often I was giving myself an opportunity to grow. 

Specifically, I wanted to grow more in love with Jesus. The books that I spend most of my time have to do something about Christianity. As I navigated, my relationship with Jesus I realized that a Christian is not passive but is called to be active. Our sovereign Creator uses means, like learning, to grow us and transform us. Once I figured out this reality, I realized that even though I dislike reading I needed to produce a habit of reading. I wanted to grow as a Christian. However, I didn't wish to grow as a Christian to gain a right standing before God; He sees me as perfect only because of Jesus' perfect life, death, burial, and resurrection. 

I want God to continue to use the means of reading to grow my knowledge of Him in hopes that reading strengthens my relationship with my King. 

I read to grow.

2. Remember

I am a forgetful person by nature. I wish I could remember things I learned years ago. But as everyone knows, if you don't use the thing you often discovered your mind tends to forget it all together. Our minds were created to remember things, but we tend to remember the things we interact with on a regular basis. 

Therefore, because I forget often, I read to remember my identity as a Christian. As Christians, we are saved not by our quality of faith, or our quantity of faith but by who our faith is in, Jesus Christ. He is the object of our faith and because of that I read so I don't forget this great reality. I desire such theological clarity so that when my mind wanders or my world gets rocked by some unexpected incident, I want to be able to remember Who I have faith in, Jesus Christ the righteous one.  

I read to remember. 

3. Lead Others

Lastly, I read because I know I am called to be a leader. Now you might read this and say, yes but I am not a leader. I believe everyone is called to be a leader. Whether you are in college, young married, deacon, elder, church member, father, mother, you are called to be a leader in some capacity. 

There are different levels of leadership I believe the Bible lays out pretty clearly. For example, husbands are to lead their wives and homes, the Apostle Paul was a leader of movements, And we are all called to be disciples of Jesus which implies we are to be leaders of self. I would put these into four different categories, the leader of self, leader of others, leader of organizations, and leader of movements. I think these groups gives enough handles to knowing what we're called to. 

So in that regard, If you don't have a family, you certainly are still called to be a leader of yourself. 

I read because I want to continue to keep my mind sharp and continue to grow in greater capacity to lead. I want to lead myself well; I want to lead my family well, and certainly I want to go in leading others well. 

I read because I am a leader.

4. Where Do I Start?

If you are not a reader, the best practical advice I can give you is just to start reading. Even that information is hard just to start doing when you hate reading. Here is what I did when I began to try and read more, I started small and picked five books I wanted to read within a year (here is a list if you need help getting started, or ask a friend you trust what they would recommend). I would add all the book pages up and divide by 365 days (because that is how many days are in a year). This number would give me a great starting point to know how many pages per day I needed to read to get through my goal.

For example, you take five books that are 200 pages each, add them all up and you get a 1000 pages of reading. Divide that number by 365 days in a year and, voila!, you get 2.74 pages a day. That is how many pages you need to read a day to finish those five books.

By doing this, I gave myself a possible target when it came to reading. Meaning that I was no longer intimidated by reading any longer.

Reading is worth it, even if you find reading the worst.

Ah, the holidays are here! Not that you needed the reminder. But Christmas is coming!

Good food, good laughs, gifts given and received. And hobbits.

Yes, hobbits. Hobbits and Christmas are very similar. 

If you've read or seen The Lord of The Rings, you know what a hobbit is. They were a people that lived in the north of Middle Earth that caused so little ruckus that most of Middle Earth's inhabitants didn't even know they existed. Seldom growing taller than three feet in our measure, they wore bright colors, lived peacefully, and knew how to party. Here's how Tolkien described them:

Their faces were as a rule good-natured rather than beautiful, broad, bright-eyed, red-cheeked, with mouths apt to laughter, and to eating and drinking. And laugh they did, and eat, and drink, often and heartily, being fond of simple jests at all times, and of six meals a day (when they could get them). They were hospitable, and delighted in parties, and in presents, which they gave away freely and eagerly accepted.

Such a people sound amazing. Of course, there are a few exceptions (if you make it through the series, you'll meet a few of them). But based on that description, I'd love to be a hobbit. Or at least have their attitude.

I (Dane) once heard a friend of mine say, "live like a hobbit" referring to the Christmas season. When I heard that statement, it made my head spin with different questions. How can someone live like a hobbit? What does "living like a hobbit" have to do with Christmas? Then I realized, Christmas is all about bright colors, friends, family, great food, good drink, a love of laughter, and celebrations. And as I thought about that, I realized that hobbits love these things as well. That is amazing. But wait, if that is true how can I "live like a hobbit" this Christmas season?

Before we go any further, we just want to acknowledge that Christmas can be very painful and lonely. And we’re sorry. In no way are we trying to make you feel bad for lack of excitement or happiness, nor are we suggesting that you fake it.

Because Jesus didn’t. When Lazarus died, He wept. When it came time to go to the cross, He agonized over what He knew He had to endure. And yet, Philippians 2 says “for the joy set before him,” He endured the cross, and ultimately rose to victory, taking His seat at the Father’s right hand.

Whatever makes this season painful is a blip on the screen of life. Pain is okay. But don’t let it stifle the happiness and joy that can be found in Jesus.

All that said, here’s some ways to live like a hobbit in the midst of the holidays.

Bringing Joy To Others

In order to bring joy to others, you have to know what brings them joy.

Hobbits are all the same. They all like a good party.

Humans are not all the same. But most of them like a good party. With good food. Sure, we all disagree on what “good” is. But the desire is there.

Through the holidays (and life, really), do your best to create a welcoming and hospitable environment in whatever you do.

Bringing Joy To Yourself

Experiencing joy yourself can be so linked to others’ joy. At least it is for me (Brandon). Often the absolute last thing I want to do is go to a party. But if other people are having a good time, I generally am too.

I’ve personally found that when I try to feel happy, I'm never happy. I wonder if I'm doing some thing wrong, or if I've done something wrong, and how my actions and words are interpreted and whether people like me and... 

*sigh*

And I wonder why I never get "there."

On the flip side, I've found that when I focus on others and their happiness, I’m a lot less crabby, and I’m happier myself.

 Ultimately Bringing Joy To Christ

We celebrate Christmas because of Jesus. When we make Him a big deal, we make Him happy.

Ultimately, it’s reflecting on Him and what He’s done that will produce the most lasting joy, because He has filled our greatest need. We can never throw a good enough party or give enough gifts to get the joy that is ultimately offered in Christ.

How To Live Like A Hobbit During Christmas

Two years ago, after Redeemer's Christmas Eve Service, my wife and I invited a few people over to our house for an extravagant feast. We decided to buy great meat, get gifts for these people, bring out our special drink and be marry together.

Deep down in my sinful heart I didn't want to share my good food and drink because I wanted it all to myself. Fortunately, when I saw the joy and peace that was on the faces of these people because of the wonderful gifts, well that was the greatest gift one could give me. 

So how do you live like a Hobbit during Christmas?

Enjoy the season that is upon us. Throw a lavish party with great food and drink. Laugh often, learn to relax and for goodness sakes do not take yourself too seriously. Christmas is a season of great joy. Not because we get presents, not because we have good food and drink in our system. No, the only reason you can live like a Hobbit on Christmas is because the season is about the coming of the great Messiah. King Jesus has come, conquered, and is consummating a redeemed creation to Himself. 

So this season, enjoy the beautiful gifts that this time brings upon us. Have joy, often laugh, throw a party and enjoy this beautiful season.

This week's post co-written by deacons Dane and Brandon.

I love God's Word. I really do.

But sometimes, I'm just not feelin' it.

When you break it down, reading the Bible is not hard. Set a time, you set a place, brew your coffee or pour your tea, and start right in. Or maybe it's even simpler: you just start.

More often than not, however, I often find my mind wandering, and wandering for a host of reasons. I'm tired. My mug is empty. It's dark. This doesn't make sense. This does make sense and I don't like it.

And all of a sudden, I am aware that my mind is hungry, but for anything but what lies before me on the kitchen table.

The God of the universe is talking to me, and I'm bored.

It seems to come in seasons. Sometimes, I'll be learning a ton, feeling completely absorbing in God's Word, so blown away by what He's done, amazed by His character and gracious disposition towards people who generally don't give a flying fig about Him.

And yet other times, reading the phone book seems more interesting.

 

We Don't Need A Trick List. We Need Jesus.

When we're frustrated and bummed out and struggle to pray and read, our greatest need is not a list of tips and tricks to "fix ourselves." Because we can't. Our greatest need is described in the pages in front of us.

We need grace, and God gives it at the cost of His Son, who succeeded in perfect communion with His Father. Because of Jesus, we have a perfect Bible reading and prayer record, and it's as if we'd done it for all the right reasons. Because of Jesus and the new life we have in Him, we actually can enjoy reading God's Word.

However, Bible reading and devotional time is still a struggle at times, and it will continue to be this side of the Second Coming.

Here are some things that seem to at least help me when I'm discouraged with my lack of devotion.

 

1. Pray

Yeah, I know. Total Sunday School answer. But it really is true.

Prayer is talking to God. It's reflecting on His holiness and telling Him so, wanting Him to be worshiped above all things. It's asking for His way in heaven to be the way things are here, His glory revealed in this broken world of ours. It's acknowledging our brokenness and our need for His grace and mercy in Jesus, and asking for things so that He would be glorified.

God wants to be glorified. He's the best there is. He loves you, wants you to delight in Him, and wants you to grow and become more like Jesus.

Honestly, praying towards that end may or may not lead to better Bible time, at least in terms of experience. But prayer reminds us that we're needy, and acknowledging that we don't have the focus or strength or determination in ourselves is often what we need most when we're struggling to read the Bible.

 

2. It's Better to Feel Frustrated Than Not to Feel at All

Humans need sustenance. It's hardwired into us. Without food or water, we die. And so, we hunger and thirst. It's part of being human.

When it comes to scripture and prayer, being frustrated that you're not hungry or thirsty for what you know you need is a good thing. That means you're alive.

As we said before, pray that Jesus would become sweeter to you and that your love for Him would grow. But take comfort in the fact that you actually care.

 

3. You May Not Be Doing Anything Wrong

In a world where so much of what we get is based on what we sacrifice, it can be easy to take boring Bible time as an indication or sign of sin in our lives. And while we all sin, that may not be the best assumption.

God is smarter than us. He knows what we need, what we feel, what we think before we think it. It may be that, in His wisdom, He causes us to feel a bit disconnected so that we learn something that we wouldn't otherwise.

God can be displeased with us. God disciplines us, another extension of His wisdom. In times where we feel disconnected with God, we need to remember that we are connected to Him in Christ. That lets us, without fear of condemnation, ask Him and others if there's sin in our lives that we can't see, and then joyfully turn to Jesus for forgiveness.

But boring Bible time could just be a season of life, too, where we need to learn to trust God to give us what we need, even if it doesn't feel awesome to receive.

4. Just Keep Trying

Often when I'm sick, I lose my appetite completely, and the very last thing I want is to eat. But even if I can't keep anything down, it's generally better to eat even nibbles and crumbs of crackers and sips of Sprite than to have nothing at all.

Keep pressing into what you know you need. Know that God is good, that He loves you, that He wants what's best for you.

Know that there's grace to fail and strength to continue.

Even when we're just not feelin' it.

The 5th annual Redeemer Women's Conference is quickly approaching and if you haven't signed up yet, do so here. If money is an issue and you don't think you can afford it, don't let that stop you. We want every woman to be able to be a part of this conference, so let us know and we will work something out for you so that you won't miss the conference. 

We wanted to give you an opportunity to get to know the speaker who will be leading the conference this year. Kendra Dahl is a wife and mother of two (plus one on the way). She lives near Fargo, North Dakota, and blogs at www.kendradahl.com, which was recently featured on the Gospel Coalition. You can read more about her here. Below is one of Kendra's favorite blog posts she has written and would love for you all to read it before she comes. Enjoy!

____________________________________________

nourished and cherished {& other thoughts on male headship} 

Blog Post by Kendra Dahl

I read an article shortly after getting married about a husband’s role to nourish and cherish his wife. He described a wife who is “nourished and cherished” by her husband, using words like glowing, flourishing, satisfied, content. She really sounded quite wonderful. So did her husband. But I, on the other hand, felt off. A little depressed, worn out and lost in the shuffle of needy children and my duties at home. I loved my husband and being married, but it was far from flawless as we struggled through bad communication and unmet expectations.

So, naturally, I concluded that it was all my husband’s fault.

He’s not nourishing and cherishing me, I would secretly lament. I would count down the moments until he arrived home from work, waiting for him to burst in the door and rescue me from my failures and frustrations. When he didn’t live up to my demands, I quickly gave into despair. Tagged him “in” and checked myself “out.”

We chose Ephesians 5:22-33 for our wedding. Headship and submission were new for me, both in belief and experience, and I wanted to be all in. This passage on marriage radically challenged my views on men and women and their roles within the family, and I wanted to live out the beautiful picture painted in Paul’s words. The passage, properly used (as at our wedding), challenges men and women to live out their unique callings within the marriage relationship.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)

As Kathy Keller writes, everyone gets to play the Jesus role–men as they lay their lives down as Christ for the church, women as they humbly submit as Christ to His Father’s will. I affirm this is true. I am a complementarian. I believe in the equal value and dignity of men and women as image-bearers of God, as well as the diverse callings of men and women within the church and the home. Just for the record.

However.

I think there is potential for misunderstanding.

In my limited experience, it seems that complementarity has a tendency to “go after the men”–to call them to step up, to initiate, to lead the way. They are to be the spiritual leaders for the wives and children. They set the pace for the home as the family runs after Jesus. This is well and good. The problem comes when we (wives) hear this teaching for our husbands and become critical and grumbly. Words from Ephesians ring in our ears — is my husband loving me? Nourishing and cherishing me? Sanctifying me? Washing me with the water of the word?

Suddenly we realize we don’t feel so nourished, cherished, washed, sanctified.

Suddenly we find ourselves staring at this sinner we married wondering why he isn’t making us all bright and shiny holy.

Perhaps that article was onto something in saying that a wife who is “nourished and cherished” by her husband tends to have a security and confidence that is lacking elsewhere. But here’s my problem with that: Should my husband be the source of my security and confidence?

When we went to the Liberate conference last February, there was a marriage seminar one morning. The speaker (Scotty Smith) told of a time his wife came to him and said,

“I want to get healthy with you, but I will get healthy without you.”

It stopped me in my tracks. We went to Florida in a funk. I was living day-by-day internally pleading: Be my everything. Fix me. Make me happy. Nourish and cherish me.

The words felt so anti-complementarian. At least as far as my perception goes. A wife getting healthy without her husband? Isn’t that unsubmissive? Isn’t she supposed to sit back quietly and wait for him to lead the way? If she initiates without him, isn’t she damaging his ability to lead?

Smith said it had the opposite effect, actually. As his wife moved towards freedom, so did he. And they arrived there together.

Ephesians 5 is prescriptive for marriage. There are direct statements to husbands and wives that ought to shape how we (husbands and wives) view our roles and relationships to one another. But it’s about something far greater than marriage! Look at what Paul writes: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Christ is the head of His bride, the Church. He is her Savior. He loves her and gave himself up for her, sanctifying her and cleansing her, presenting her to Himself holy, without spot or blemish. Christ loves His bride, the Church, as His own body, nourishing and cherishing her because she is a member of Him. There is no longer two, but one, as the Church is united to Christ.

There is a beautiful way in which a husband’s love for his wife pictures this, but it will never be this. Even the most wonderful husband cannot accomplish in his bride what Christ accomplishes in His Church.

And when I look to my husband to be these things for me, and even if he rises to the occasion and I feel all nourished and cherished, if I am not first nourished and cherished by Jesus, there is only one word for our relationship: idolatry.

A woman who is nourished and cherished only by her husband may thrive for awhile, but she will eventually wither. If she does not know her God, she cannot know herself. Her marriage may be happy, but her life will be shallow. There is fruit from the love of a husband. But unless it is fruit from the love of The Husband, it will not last.

The sweet thing is that as I look to Jesus to nourish and cherish me, as I embrace His love for me and my union with Him, I am free to love my husband instead of demanding his love.

My husband wrote our wedding vows. And in them he prayed that he would lead me to an ever-deepening satisfaction not in him, but in Jesus.

I think this is male headship. Not striving to be Jesus to your wife, but striving to point your wife to Jesus.

My husband is not Jesus to me. He’s not perfect. And sometimes that’s really disappointing. But mostly I’m thankful. I’m thankful that he wants to grow in grace and challenges me to that end. I’m thankful that in our imperfections we have the opportunity to celebrate God’s great love for us in Christ.

I’m thankful for a man who doesn’t stand up tall trying to be my Savior, but rather bends low and stands with me before the cross.

I’m thankful for an imperfect marriage and a perfect Savior.

I have an alarm that goes off every day at 5:25 before Jordan gets home from work. As the ringer blares, the words flash across my screen: “Nourished and cherished by Jesus.” I don’t always read it. It doesn’t always keep me from hoping Jordan will walk in the door and rescue me. But it does serve as a simple reminder to lift my eyes to the One who does nourish and cherish me. So that this imperfect, failing wife can take the hand of my imperfect, failing husband and we can find rest together in the arms of a sweet Savior.

As a deacon at Redeemer, I get to help out with all kinds of things.

Three times, one of those things was the annual Redeemer Women's conference, which is scheduled for November 13-14 this year. I haven't helped at this one yet. But I will be.

I've helped cook. I've helped clean. I've run around looking for what needs done and I've sat behind the sound booth for a few sessions.

Every time, I felt weird being a dude in my mid-twenties hanging out at a women's conference, trying to serve and stay out of the way. But every time I've learned something, something either spoken or in service.

We try not to do a bunch of event stuff on the blog these days. But every once-in-awhile, we've got something we really want to make sure people know is happening. And since the registration deadline is this Sunday (November 7), we wanted to plug it one last time before we finally shut up about it.

So, like I said, I'll be running around this year, too. And while I try to be invisible, I'm looking forward to eavesdropping just a little bit; your speaker this year, Kendra Dahl, is coming in from North Dakota (read about her here and here), and will be digging into Romans 8 and how we are set free in Christ.

So ladies, if you haven't done so, sign up for the women's conference.

All the details are right here, including how to sign up. If you'd rather do so in person, you can sign up Sunday morning, but don't forget, because, again, Sunday's the deadline.

One last thing: Don't let money be an issue for you, because it's not an issue for us. We want every woman that wants to be there to be there. Just let us know, and we'll work something out to make sure that you're there. Remember that because of Jesus, you can ask for help without letting your need define you.

And men, (Dads, in particular) take the kids to free Mom up for a couple days. Or, you can sign up on the City if you're available to help out with set-up / clean-up or meals. Older kids are welcome to help out, too!

Again, the registration deadline is this coming Sunday, (November 7), so don't forget to sign up.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Brace yourselves for a strong statement.

And be prepared to just accept it, because we're not gonna fight about it.

...

Baseball is the most beautiful sport ever to be invented, period!

Now, I know some of you out there think baseball is one of the most boring sports ever. I have heard some people even say that they would rather watch paint dry than watch a baseball game.

But even if you are in that spot, hang with me. Because just like baseball or any sport, skill or pursuit for that matter, becoming a better disciple of Jesus takes a lot of determination, persistence, and practice.

Dreaming Big

When I was a kid I remember watching and listening to baseball with great curiosity. I used to daydream about being in the big leagues, pitching in the World Series, putting my team on my shoulders and leading them to victory.

I wanted to pitch professionally; that was my dream. But as with all dreams there comes a great reality that we all have to face: a dream is really just a precursor to an awful lot of work. For musicians, athletes, professionals, students, whomever, you have to practice to be able to accomplish a dream you might have. 

Now for those who know me, you are probably aware that I didn't make it as a professional baseball player. I've got awful eyesight, my reflexes are terrible, and I'm always looking up to others, literally. There was really no amount of practice that was going to overcome some of these physical limitations.

Once I considered this, I knew my dream was dead. But when I became a Christian years later, I realized baseball gave me such a wonderful understanding to what Christian discipleship should look like.

Baseball Discipleship

Yes, to the untrained eye baseball seems to be to simple. Boiled down to the simplest form, there is a ball that someone needs to hit and run around the bases to try and score before the defense tags you. But there is much more that goes into baseball than meets the eye. 

There's a specific way to hit the ball based on where you want it to go.

To develop arm strength needed to throw that runner out at third, you have to throw a lot, since most people aren't born with that kind of strength.

You have to train focus, hand eye coordination, speed, decision making.

You can't do these things without constant practice. And you can't just practice when you feel like it. And you don't know what to practice if you don't know what skills to build or maintain. And you don't know what you need to work on without feedback.

Christian Discipleship

Being a Christian is a lot like training to be a baseball player.

Except that we got drafted by no merit of our own. we did nothing to earn it.

We don't know home from second base. Our arms are weak, our eyesight is poor, and our decision-making needs some work, because we've been making those decisions toward a different goal than the one we were made for.

When Jesus died and rose to save you, and the Holy Spirit called you and changed your heart and mind and affections, and you got drafted, weak arm, bad eyesight, and poor decisions all.

So now, your job as a Christian, drafted to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:18ff), is to train and develop the skills necessary to effectively lead people to Jesus.

This is why we do things like pray, knowing that we have not the strength on our own to accomplish the purpose set before us.

Or read our bibles, knowing that in them we can read about the love and wrath and mercy of God for people who did not and do not love God apart from Christ, ready to give an answer for the hope that we have in Christ.

Or participate in Christian community, serving alongside family, who can point out where we're strong or weak, and can encourage us in our walk with Jesus.

Getting In The Game

Whether or not you're training to make disciples, you already are, by your thoughts, your words, your actions.

It sounds kind of daunting. We may not even know where to start. We're afraid of the damage we'll do to others in our failing, or we're scared of starting in the wrong place, or just paralyzed by indecision, concerned about going in the wrong direction.

It's in these moments that we need to remember the conditions under which we were drafted to begin with.

Christ performed perfectly, died sacrificially, and rose victoriously.

By His grace we are saved. That's it.

So we can start trying, training, running, falling, getting back up and starting again.

We can set our alarm an hour early only with the intention of reading and praying and meditating only to unconsciously hit snooze for 45 minutes.

We can show up to hang out with a Gospel Community, in which we know no one, and feel really awkward the whole time and leave and say "well, that wasn't a good fit, let's try another next week."

We can take a step toward leadership, only to be confronted with the reality that we can't manage details worth beans. (How many beans? I don't know. I wasn't counting.)

Whatever it is, remember the team you're on and how you were drafted.

And don't be afraid to fail, because where we fail, Jesus has won.